Rock critics often mistakenly portray Yo La Tengo as nice people...

 


Because they play softball . . .

Wear Chuck Taylors . . .

 


And eat BBQ.

But in reality, they are actually quite E-V-I-L.

 


On their last tour, they allowed my band, Run On, to open for them... as long as we carried their equipment...

 


And sold t-shirts for them.

Ira threw beer bottles at bad soundmen...

 


Especially when the band didn't get everything in their rider.

 


James beat up the doorman at Moe's in Seattle.

I heard they deflated the tires of the Breeders' tour bus.

 


When their alter ego played on my radio show on WFMU...

I proposed a 4th of July cookout but had trouble with the charcoal.

 


In a rage, Georgia called me "the worst host ever."

They don't care who they step on, they'll stop at nothing to get to the top.

 


They can squeeze blood from a sugarcube.

On their new album they stoop to remixes, trumpet solos, Burt Bacharach samples...

 


And a song made famous by religious fanatics Anita Bryant and Marie Osmond.

The record is full of noisy guitars, wach beats, anger, violence, and repressed sexual tension.